Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
someone owes me an orgasm
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
