I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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