didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
