it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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