dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
