she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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