giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
