cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can't turn off my feet"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i think i just lost a toe
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