No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
