SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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