Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
