Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
