I just made out with a guy for $7.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we're making bets on your personal life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
