Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
