you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize