You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
