Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
