yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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