You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
