don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
