We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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