I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
