I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
