Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
