Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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