Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
