Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize