last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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