The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
