So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
