Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
