8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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