I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I would fuck him just for his dog
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
