you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
