Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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