possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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