uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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