you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
