he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
