if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
