I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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