So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
