Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?

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(949): View more from California

if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction

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(770): View more from Georgia

Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.

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(614): View more from Ohio

No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.

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(425): View more from Washington

Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?

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(410): View more from Maryland

we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.

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