I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
