Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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