White coat. Heels.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i drank out of a bidet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
