just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
