Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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