He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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