we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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