You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
