What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
