Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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