Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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