Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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