I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
