This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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