marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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