Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
