Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
