you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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